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Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

I am not young enough to know everything.

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.

If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

If a man does his best, what else is there?

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

I look forward to. Here’s wishing there’s a lot more wonderful resources coming

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

Will you think about posting some more aspects concerning this subject in the future?

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

Men have become the tools of their tools.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

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My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.